Getting ready for a HUGE change! My eyes have opened up to so much. I have been fooling myself for so long due to fear. Fear of acceptance. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of instability. Though, the signs are EVERYWHERE and it’s been revealing that where I’ve been placing myself is unacceptable, inadequate, and unstable for my well-being.
I had been so conditioned to satisfy the expectations of my parents and conform to societal pressures that I ignored all of who I AM, burning my whole being to its CORE. I drowned in cycles of anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, heartbreak, and hopelessness. I had completely lost myself and didn’t know what else to do until I realized that I had been paying too much attention to the needs of others and needed to start paying attention to my inner voice.
Over the past year and a half, I secluded myself from everyone and surrendered to the damage I had done to myself, and boy, did I wake up. I endured SO MUCH pain than I already had and felt guilty for what I had done. There is no greater pain than to deceive yourself and dismiss your own needs. Eventually, I owned up to my shit and started to do the work of filling in the holes I, essentially, created.
Throughout this process, I discovered my strong desire to help others heal because of how life changing it is. The journey all makes sense now. My experiences have given me such a great platform to work with and I am so grateful for all of it!
So, here I am as yourembarking on this new journey and, honestly, seeing everything unfold right in front of me is terrifying. It is a COMPLETE overhaul of my life. I just know that I don’t want to suffer through the same conditioned cycle over and over again.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is who you are and what your purpose is goes beyond societal beliefs and expectations, beyond school and career. The more you try to figure things out by force and logic, the further away you drift. Be patient and pay more attention to your inner voice. All of what you seek is found within your true self.